How To Say No

Sometimes saying “No” doesn’t feel like the easiest route. What if you don’t like something but don’t want to scare someone away? Does consent talk take you out of sexy mode? As individuals who were/are socialized as females, we have been conditioned by societal norms and gender roles to be accommodating and supportive of others needs. Acquiescing to others without checking in with ourselves and putting our wants and needs first. It’s time to stop saying sorry.

Everyone has the right and capabilities to assure their safety both mentally and physically. Understanding consent is vital in sexual situations, but consent is only half of the battle. What do you when someone doesn’t ask for your consent? What happens if this scenario is at a party? With a casual sex partner? Learning how to say “No” is more than just a reactionary approach.

As former and current sex workers, the panel of speakers for this workshop have to deal with defining and setting boundaries more often than the average human. Experiencing this in a vacuum, the panel will discuss navigating and preempting sexual harassment or boundary violations. For those considering sex work, expect to learn how to protect yourself mentally and physically in this career. These strategies lend themselves well to protecting oneself in relationships, casual sex, even street harassment.

CIS HET MALES are also encouraged to come to this class. However, they will be asked to listen rather than to verbally participate throughout its duration. If they wish to ask questions to the panel they may do so at the end of the workshop.

In this panel, we will address
Understanding triggers and boundaries and how to communicate this to a partner or lover
When do we give second chances and when do we call bullshit?

Let’s be honest: we live in a culture of victim blaming and shaming and this is not healthy. We will address guilt head on, tactics to prevent and reaffirmation to heal.

After the discussion panel we will conclude with a reflection led by Kaia Muig for individuals to share thoughts & experiences or provide support to our peers.